“Jesus Christ Is the Strength of Parents”

General Conference Applied

S1 E6 – Sunday, September 3, 2023 | “Jesus Christ Is the Strength of Parents” by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf; April 2023 General Conference

Listen on Amazon Music | Listen on Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify

Report on Prior Week’s Action Item

I committed to watch seven of the ‘How I “Hear Him”‘ videos (one each day last week) and to write down one thing I learned from each testimony. I only watched two videos, but I’ve shared what I learned from each video below:

• President Dallin H. Oaks: “When you get an impression, act upon it, however unusual it seems or however inadequate you feel in following it. Act upon it. There’s a reason. You may not know the reason, but blessings will follow to you and to someone else if you hear Him.”
• President M. Russell Ballard: “Most things we hear from heaven, we feel ultimately in our hearts. And then hopefully it trickles up into our minds.”

In the action items section, I will share what I learned this week about doctrines, principles, and applications from Elder David A. Bednar.

Introduction

In each episode of General Conference Applied, we are attempting to answer two questions:

1. What is the speaker asking me to do?
2. What am I going to do about it?

To conclude his message, Elder Uchtdorf shared: “In Heavenly Father’s plan, families’ relationships are meant to be eternal. This is why, as a parent, you never give up, even if you are not proud of how things went in the past. With Jesus Christ, the Master Healer and Savior, there can always be a new beginning; He always gives hope. Jesus Christ is the strength of families. Jesus Christ is the strength of youth. Jesus Christ is the strength of parents.” *I felt a powerful wave of the Spirit rush over me as I read these words this week. I know that these words are true. I testify that Jesus Christ is our Strength. He is aware of us. No matter the obstacle in life, Jesus Christ is the answer.

Powerful Stories

“For a moment, imagine this situation: You’re at church, listening to a talk about families. The speaker describes a perfect home and an even more perfect family. Husband and wife never quarrel. Children stop reading their scriptures only when it’s time to do homework. And the music of “Love One Another” is playing in the background. Before the speaker gets to the part about everyone cheerfully joining to clean the bathroom, you’re already thinking, “My family is hopeless.” Dear brothers and sisters, relax! Everyone in the congregation is thinking the same thing! The fact is, all parents worry about not being good enough. Fortunately, there is a divine source of help for parents: It is Jesus Christ.”

Most Important Quote

“My message to all parents is this:

“The Lord loves you.

“He is with you.

“He stands beside you.

“He is your strength in guiding your children to make righteous choices.

“Accept this privilege and responsibility courageously and joyfully. Don’t delegate this source of heavenly blessings to anyone else. Within the framework of gospel values and principles, you are the ones to guide your child in the details of daily decisions. Help your children build faith in Jesus Christ, love His gospel and His Church, and prepare for a lifetime of righteous choices.”

Here are a few powerful quotes about parenting:

• “In the case of children, the responsibility of giving moral guidance rests with the parents. They know the disposition, understanding, and intelligence of each child. Parents spend a lifetime seeking to establish and maintain good communications with each of their children. They are in the best position to make the ultimate moral decisions as to the welfare and well-being of their offspring” (James E. Faust, “The Weightier Matters of the Law: Judgment, Mercy, and Faith,” October 1997 General Conference). *This was also footnote 22 in Elder Uchtdorf’s talk.
• Brené Brown, author of ‘Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead,’ has shared what she calls “The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto.” Here are a few excerpts from that Manifesto:
  “Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions – the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself. I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections… Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it. We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here… I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly deeply seeing you.”
• Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of ‘Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience,’ shares practical tips for “promoting optimal experience” in the family:
  “The family context promoting optimal experience could be described as having five characteristics. The first one is clarity: the teenagers feel that they know what their parents expect from them – goals and feedback in the family interaction are unambiguous. The second is centering, or the children’s perception that their parents are interested in what they are doing in the present, in their concrete feelings and experiences, rather than being preoccupied with whether they will be getting into a good college or obtaining a well-paying job. Next is the issue of choice: children feel that they have a variety of possibilities from which to choose, including that of breaking parental rules – as long as they are prepared to face the consequences. The fourth differentiating characteristic is commitment, or the trust that allows the child to feel comfortable enough to set aside the shield of his defenses, and become unselfconsciously involved in whatever he is interested in. And finally there is challenge, or the parents’ dedication to provide increasingly complex opportunities for action to their children… Children who grow up in family situations that facilitate clarity of goals, feedback, feeling of control, concentration on the task at hand, intrinsic motivation, and challenge will generally have a better chance to order their lives so as to make flow possible.”

And an additional quote about grandparenting:

• Stephen R. Covey, author of ‘The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness,’ shared the following powerful counsel:
  “Simply put—at its most elemental and practical level—leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves. Think about this definition. Isn’t this the essence of the kind of leadership that influences and truly endures?! To communicate the worth and potential of others so clearly, so powerfully and so consistently that they really come to see it in themselves is to set in motion the process of seeing, doing and becoming. Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves. What a way to think about and to define the irreplaceable role of grandparenting! The most essential role of grandparents is to communicate, in as many ways as possible, the worth and potential of their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren clearly that they really believe it and act on that belief. If this spirit suffused our culture and society, the impact on the civilization of the world would be unimaginably magnificent and endless.”

The Best Footnote

Footnote 23: “Two other resources worth mentioning: The digital version of this year’s Come, Follow Me resource includes a new section titled “Preparing Your Children for a Lifetime on God’s Covenant Path.” It suggests simple, home-centered ideas for helping children prepare for baptism and other covenants and ordinances. And the newly revised Teaching in the Savior’s Way has a section titled “Home and Family” that describes how the principles of Christlike teaching apply to the home (see pages 30–31).”

Questions for Reflection Asked by the Speaker

1: “Have you ever thought about the tremendous risk our Father in Heaven takes each time He sends a child to earth?”

2: “What work could be greater than helping God’s precious children learn who they really are and build their faith in Jesus Christ, His gospel, and His Church?”

Action Items

“That which is measured improves. That which is measured and reported improves exponentially.”

Karl Pearson, an early 20th-century British mathematician

“Those who measure their progress improve. Those who measure and report their progress improve exponentially.”

Dan Sullivan, founder and president of The Strategic Coach Inc.

“Do something, do anything! But to start, just do ONE thing.”

Mitch Peterson

In his book, “Increase in Learning: Spiritual Patterns for Obtaining Your Own Answers,” Elder David A. Bednar shared the following counsel regarding doctrines, principles, and applications. …

We can do many things, but there is power when each task we perform is aimed at our ultimate goal – to become more and more like Jesus Christ. Thus, as I shared in season 1 episode 5, below I have utilized the Christlike Attribute Activity from Preach My Gospel chapter 6 to identify an attribute that Elder Uchtdorf’s action item could help develop. Additionally, we don’t have to add one more thing. We have been instructed to pray and study the Gospel of Jesus Christ each day. Are there ways that we can incorporate the action items below into what we’re already doing?

1: “Accept this privilege and responsibility courageously and joyfully. Don’t delegate this source of heavenly blessings to anyone else. Within the framework of gospel values and principles, you are the ones to guide your child in the details of daily decisions. Help your children build faith in Jesus Christ, love His gospel and His Church, and prepare for a lifetime of righteous choices.”

• Attribute(s):
  • I have faith that God will bring about good things in my life and the lives of others as we devote ourselves to Him and His Son. (Ether 12:12) (FAITH)
• Application(s):
• Resource(s):
  • Elder Uchtdorf shared three powerful ideas in his talk:
    • “Sometimes we might wonder if someone else might be better qualified to guide and teach our children. But no matter how inadequate you may feel, you have something that uniquely qualifies you: your love for your child. A parent’s love for a child is one of the strongest forces in the universe. It’s one of the few things on this earth that can truly be eternal.”
    • “One home evening, one gospel conversation, or one good example may not change your child’s life in a moment, any more than one drop of rain causes a plant immediately to grow. But the consistency of small and simple things, day after day, nourishes your children much better than an occasional flood.”
    • “Faith and testimony are best fostered in normal and natural ways, one bite at a time, in small and simple moments, in the constant flow of daily living. Every moment is a teaching moment. Every word and action can be a guide for making choices.”
  • In “Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less,” author Greg McKeown shared: “As Peter Drucker said, ‘In a few hundred years, when the history of our time will be written from a long-term perspective, it is likely that the most important event historians will see is not technology, not the Internet, not e-commerce. It is an unprecedented change in the human condition. For the first time—literally—substantial and rapidly growing numbers of people have choices. For the first time, they will have to manage themselves. And society is totally unprepared for it.’ … We are unprepared in part because, for the first time, the preponderance of choice has overwhelmed our ability to manage it. We have lost our ability to filter what is important and what isn’t. Psychologists call this ‘decision fatigue’: the more choices we are forced to make, the more the quality of our decisions deteriorates.”

2: “Seek His help. Inquire of the Lord!”

• Attribute(s):
  • I seek knowledge and guidance through the Spirit. (1 Nephi 4:6) (KNOWLEDGE)
• Application(s):
• Resource(s):
  • “Teaching Our Children to Pray” by Stephen R. and Sandra Covey (January 1976 Ensign): “We have concluded that it is supremely important to have both personal and husband-wife prayers before greeting the children in the morning. In those prayers we seek to get our own spirits in tune with the Lord’s Spirit so that we are at peace within ourselves and between ourselves. Once we feel the Spirit, we then attempt to walk through our day in our mind’s eye. We determine our attitudes and responses to unpleasant situations or a difficult child. To use computer language, we try to “program ourselves” with true principles and commitments while under the divine influence of the Holy Spirit.”

3: “Make your home a house of prayer, learning, and faith; a house of joyful experiences; a place of belonging; a house of God. And “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that [you] may be filled with [His] love, which he [bestows] upon … followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.””

• Attribute(s):
  • When I pray, I ask for charity—the pure love of Christ. (Moroni 7:47–48) (CHARITY AND LOVE)
• Application(s):
• Resource(s):
  • “A Prayer for the Children” by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (April 2003 General Conference): “In this Church there is an enormous amount of room—and scriptural commandment—for studying and learning, for comparing and considering, for discussion and awaiting further revelation. We all learn “line upon line, precept upon precept,” with the goal being authentic religious faith informing genuine Christlike living. In this there is no place for coercion or manipulation, no place for intimidation or hypocrisy. But no child in this Church should be left with uncertainty about his or her parents’ devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Restoration of His Church, and the reality of living prophets and apostles who, now as in earlier days, lead that Church according to “the will of the Lord, … the mind of the Lord, … the word of the Lord, … and the power of God unto salvation.” In such basic matters of faith, prophets do not apologize for requesting unity, indeed conformity, in the eloquent sense that the Prophet Joseph Smith used that latter word. In any case, as Elder Neal Maxwell once said to me in a hallway conversation, “There didn’t seem to be any problem with conformity the day the Red Sea opened.” Parents simply cannot flirt with skepticism or cynicism, then be surprised when their children expand that flirtation into full-blown romance. If in matters of faith and belief children are at risk of being swept downstream by this intellectual current or that cultural rapid, we as their parents must be more certain than ever to hold to anchored, unmistakable moorings clearly recognizable to those of our own household. It won’t help anyone if we go over the edge with them, explaining through the roar of the falls all the way down that we really did know the Church was true and that the keys of the priesthood really were lodged there but we just didn’t want to stifle anyone’s freedom to think otherwise. No, we can hardly expect the children to get to shore safely if the parents don’t seem to know where to anchor their own boat.”

4: “I invite you to accept God’s offer to guide your family by personal revelation. Seek His guidance in your prayers.”

• Attribute(s):
  • I seek knowledge and guidance through the Spirit. (1 Nephi 4:6) (KNOWLEDGE)
• Application(s):
• Resources(s):
  • See the “Teaching Our Children to Pray” by Stephen R. and Sandra Covey quote above.
  • “Observation, Reason, Faith, and Revelation” by Elder Dale G. Renlund (August 22, 2023 BYU Speech): Approximately 32 minutes into the speech, Elder Renlund shares his thoughts on not repeatedly asking the same question to Heavenly Father: “Understanding and formulating questions from multiple angles is not the same as repeatedly asking God the identical question. Doing so is unwise, as Joseph Smith learned in the episode with Martin Harris and the 116 manuscript pages.” Elder Renlund continues by sharing what could have happened had Joseph Smith reframed his question. This is such a powerful idea!

5: “Read [“For the Strength of Youth: A Guide for Making Choices”] with your children. Let them talk about it. Help them to have these eternal and divine truths guide their choices.”

• Attribute(s):
  • I strive to live in accordance with the laws and principles of the gospel. (Doctrine and Covenants 41:5) (OBEDIENCE)
• Application(s):
• Resource(s):
  • “Message from the First Presidency” in the introduction to “For the Strength of Youth: A Guide for Making Choices”: “This guide will help you build a solid foundation for making choices to stay on the covenant path. It will help you prepare to make sacred covenants in the temple, prepare to serve a mission, and find joy in following Jesus Christ throughout your life. We hope you feel that you belong in the Savior’s Church and have power from Him to fulfill His purposes for you.”

6: “I invite young single adults to join these [FSY] conferences as mentors and counselors. I invite parents to build on the spiritual momentum their youth bring home from FSY conferences.”

• Attribute(s):
  • I look for opportunities to serve others. (Mosiah 2:17) (CHARITY AND LOVE)
• Application(s):
• Resource(s):
  • “Lasting Discipleship” by President Steven J. Lund (October 2022 General Conference): “I was abruptly brought back to the present by a living, breathing missionary who was boarding a plane home. He introduced himself and asked, “President Lund, what do I do now? What do I do to remain strong?” Well, this is the same question that is on the minds of our youth when they leave FSY conferences, youth camps, and temple trips and anytime they feel the powers of heaven: “How can loving God turn into lasting discipleship?” I felt an upwelling of love for this clear-eyed missionary serving the last hours of his mission, and in that momentary stillness of the Spirit, I heard my voice crack as I said simply, “You don’t have to wear the badge to bear His name.” I wanted to put my hands on his shoulders and say, “Here’s what you do. You go home, and you just be this. You are so good you almost glow in the dark. Your mission discipline and sacrifices have made you a magnificent son of God. Keep doing at home what has worked so powerfully for you here. You have learned to pray and to whom you pray and the language of prayer. You have studied His words and come to love the Savior by trying to be like Him. You have loved Heavenly Father like He loved His Father, served others like He served others, and lived the commandments like He lived them—and when you didn’t, you have repented. Your discipleship isn’t just a slogan on a T-shirt—it has become a part of your life purposefully lived for others. So you go home, and you do that. Be that. Carry this spiritual momentum into the rest of your life.””

7: “What you can and must do for the rising generation is provide rich, nourishing soil with access to flowing heavenly water. Remove weeds and anything that would block heavenly sunlight. Create the best possible conditions for growth. Patiently allow the rising generation to make inspired choices, and let God work His miracle.”

• Attribute(s):
  • I am patient with others. (Romans 15:1) (PATIENCE)
• Application(s):
• Resource(s):
  • See the “A Prayer for the Children” by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland quote above.

Promises

1. Action: “What work could be greater than helping God’s precious children learn who they really are and build their faith in Jesus Christ, His gospel, and His Church?”
   Promise: “Jesus Christ will bless and magnify your consistent efforts.”
2. Action: “As you are prayerful and sensitive to the Spirit”
   Promise: “[God] will reveal your children’s gifts, their strengths, and their unspoken concerns. God will help you see your children as He sees them—beyond their outward appearance and into their hearts.”
3. Action: “With God’s help”
   Promise: “You can learn to know your children in a pure and heavenly way.”
4. Action: “As you open your heart to the Savior and His teachings”
   Promise: “He will show you your weakness.”
5. Action: “If you trust Jesus Christ with a humble heart”
   Promise: “He will make weak things become strong.”
6. Action: “Through the Savior’s grace”
   Promise: “Little by little, you’ll develop more of the attributes parents need: love for God and His children, patience, selflessness, faith in Christ, and courage to make righteous choices.”
7. Action: “What you can and must do for the rising generation is provide rich, nourishing soil with access to flowing heavenly water. Remove weeds and anything that would block heavenly sunlight. Create the best possible conditions for growth. Patiently allow the rising generation to make inspired choices, and let God work His miracle.”
   Promise: “The result will be more beautiful and more stunning and more joyful than anything you could accomplish just by yourself.”

When the Lord promises, He will deliver. Doctrine and Covenants 82:10 – “I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.”

Note how in these scripture passages, believers viewed the Lord’s promises in the present, experiencing the joy of those promises now.

• 1 Nephi 2:20 –> 1 Nephi 5:4-6 – “I have obtained a land of promise, in the which things I do rejoice.”
• Jarom 1:11
• Mosiah 3:13
• Mosiah 8:15-18
• Alma 5:15

This Week’s Action Item

I will, in the words of President Bonnie H. Cordon, “come eager to receive counsel from the Lord through prayer.” My prayers have been very repetitive and without feeling of late – I’m going to change that this week.