“Seeing God’s Family through the Overview Lens”

Posted on by Mitch Peterson

Last updated on February 4th, 2024 at 07:37 am

General Conference Applied

S2 E17 – Sunday, January 28, 2024 | “Seeing God’s Family through the Overview Lens” by Sister Tamara W. Runia; October 2023 General Conference

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Corresponding Talk Outline: “Seeing God’s Family through the Overview Lens“

Podcast Episode Outline

REMEMBER THIS

If you remember nothing else from this podcast episode, remember this:

  • Sister Runia is inviting us to take the long view in relationships.

Introduction

Doctrines, Principles, and Christlike Attributes

As we have discussed in previous episodes of General Conference Applied, it is important to identify the fundamental doctrine, principle, and Christlike attribute of each General Conference address. In “Seeing God’s Family through the Overview Lens,” I identified Marriage and Family as the fundamental doctrine, Family Responsibilities as the fundamental principle, and Hope as the fundamental Christlike attribute. I have included a detailed breakdown of this doctrine, principle, and Christlike attribute in the talk outline, but I will share additional insights during this podcast episode.

In each episode of General Conference Applied, we are attempting to answer two questions:

  1. What is the speaker inviting me to do?
  2. How might I consider taking action?

What is the speaker inviting me to do?

Invitations

1: “Sometimes all we can see is that up-close, magnified view of those we love. Tonight, I invite you to zoom out and look through a different lens—an eternal lens that focuses on the big picture, your bigger story.”

  • What This Means (in 6 words or less): Take the long view in relationships.

Overview

Bio

“Sister Tamara W. Runia was sustained as First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency on April 1, 2023. She began serving on August 1, 2023.

“She previously served with her husband as leaders of the Australia Sydney Mission (2018–2021). She also has served as stake scripture class instructor, stake Young Women president, and stake Relief Society presidency counselor.

“Sister Runia studied broadcast journalism at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. Her civic service includes 20 years on the board of the Provo Food & Care Coalition and the Provo City Parks and Recreation board.

“Tamara Wood Runia was born March 2, 1961, in Concord, California. She married R. Scott Runia on May 23, 1981. She and her husband have seven children.”

“An Eye of Faith”

“Moroni speaks about those whose faith was so ‘exceedingly strong’ that they ‘truly saw … with an eye of faith, and they were glad.’

“With an eye focused on the Savior, they felt joy and knew this truth: because of Christ, it all works out. Everything you and you and you are worried about—it’s all going to be OK! And those who look with an eye of faith can feel that it’s going to be OK now.”

  • Hope (Christlike Attribute): “Hope is not simply wishful thinking. Instead, it is an abiding confidence, grounded in your faith in Christ, that God will fulfill His promises to you (see Moroni 7:42). It is the expectation ‘of good things to come’ through Christ (Hebrews 9:11).”
  • Notes from August 26-27, 2023 Bluffdale Independence Stake Conference with visiting General Authority Elder Ahmad S. Corbitt:

    Moses 7:44-47, John 16:33, John 17:4, Revelation 12:11, 1 Nephi 2:20, 1 Nephi 5:4-6, Jarom 1:11, Mosiah 3:13, Mosiah 8:15-18, Mosiah 16:6-7, and Alma 5:15.

    These verses of scripture teach us how people looked forward to the Savior’s sacrifice long before He was on the earth. When the Lord promises, He will deliver. Thus, the people viewed the Lord’s promises in the present, experiencing the joy of these promises now.

    Three reactions to promises made by the Lord and His servants: 1) I believe those promises will come to pass; 2) I know those promises will come to pass; 3) My faith is such that I will refer to those promises as already being fulfilled in my life (i.e., those promises have come to pass).
“Faithful Parents and Wayward Children”

“Dad exemplified Lehi’s dream. Like Lehi, he knew that you don’t chase after your loved ones who feel lost. ‘You stay where you are and call them. You go to the tree, stay at the tree, keep eating the fruit and, with a smile on your face, continue to beckon to those you love and show by example that eating the fruit is a happy thing!’

“This visual image has helped me during low moments when I find myself at the tree, eating the fruit and crying because I’m worried; and really, how helpful is that? Instead, let’s choose hope—hope in our Creator and in one another, fueling our ability to be better than we are right now.”

  • Family Responsibilities (Gospel Principle): “One of the best ways parents can teach their children is by example. Husbands and wives should show love and respect for each other and for their children by both actions and words. It is important to remember that each member of the family is a child of God. Parents should treat their children with love and respect, being firm but kind to them.

    “Parents should understand that sometimes children will make wrong choices even after they have been taught the truth. When this happens, parents should not give up. They should continue to teach their children, to express love for them, to be good examples to them, and to fast and pray for them.” (My Grandpa Clawson was a wonderful example of a faithful father.)
  • “Faithful Parents and Wayward Children“, March 2014 Ensign, Elder David A. Bednar:
    • “Faithful parents can invite the power of heaven to influence their children. Nevertheless, those children remain agents unto themselves, and the choice to repent or not ultimately is theirs…

      “As parents are patient and persistent in loving their children and in becoming living examples of disciples of Jesus Christ, they most effectively teach the Father’s plan of happiness. The steadfastness of such parents bears powerful witness of the redeeming and strengthening powers of the Savior’s Atonement and invites wayward children to see with new eyes and to hear with new ears (see Matthew 13:43).

      “Acting in accordance with the teachings of the Savior invites spiritual power into our lives—power to hear and heed, power to discern, and power to persevere. Devoted discipleship is the best and only answer to every question and challenge.”
“Give Me This Mountain”

“Remember, families are a God-given laboratory where we’re figuring things out, so missteps and miscalculations are not just possible but probable. And wouldn’t it be interesting if, at the end of our lives, we could see that those relationships, even those challenging moments, were the very things that helped us to become more like our Savior? Each difficult interaction is an opportunity to learn how to love at a deeper level—a godlike level.”

  • “Mountains to Climb“, April 2012 General Conference, President Henry B. Eyring:
    • “I heard President Spencer W. Kimball, in a session of conference, ask that God would give him mountains to climb. He said: ‘There are great challenges ahead of us, giant opportunities to be met. I welcome that exciting prospect and feel to say to the Lord, humbly, ‘Give me this mountain,’ give me these challenges.’ (“Give Me This Mountain“, October 1979 General Conference)

      “My heart was stirred, knowing, as I did, some of the challenges and adversity he had already faced. I felt a desire to be more like him, a valiant servant of God. So one night I prayed for a test to prove my courage. I can remember it vividly. In the evening I knelt in my bedroom with a faith that seemed almost to fill my heart to bursting.

      “Within a day or two my prayer was answered. The hardest trial of my life surprised and humbled me. It provided me a twofold lesson. First, I had clear proof that God heard and answered my prayer of faith. But second, I began a tutorial that still goes on to learn about why I felt with such confidence that night that a great blessing could come from adversity to more than compensate for any cost…

      “My mother fought cancer for nearly 10 years. Treatments and surgeries and finally confinement to her bed were some of her trials.

      “I remember my father saying as he watched her take her last breath, ‘A little girl has gone home to rest.’

      “One of the speakers at her funeral was President Spencer W. Kimball. Among the tributes he paid, I remember one that went something like this: ‘Some of you may have thought that Mildred suffered so long and so much because of something she had done wrong that required the trials.’ He then said, ‘No, it was that God just wanted her to be polished a little more.’ I remember at the time thinking, ‘If a woman that good needed that much polishing, what is ahead for me?'”
  • “Think Like a Monk“, Jay Shetty:
    • “Don’t judge the moment. As soon as you label something as bad, your mind starts to believe it. Instead, be grateful for setbacks. Allow the journey of life to progress at its own pace and in its own roundabout way. The universe may have other plans in store for you.

      “There’s a story about a monk who carried water from a well in two buckets, one of which had holes in it. He did this every day, without repairing the bucket. One day, a passer-by asked him why he continued to carry the leaky bucket. The monk pointed out that the side of the path where he carried the full bucket was barren, but on the other side of the path, where the bucket had leaked, beautiful wildflowers had flourished. ‘My imperfection has brought beauty to those around me,’ he said.

      “Helen Keller, who became deaf and blind as a toddler after an unidentified illness, wrote, ‘When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.’

      “When something doesn’t go your way, say to yourself, ‘There’s more for me out there.’ That’s all. You don’t have to think, I’m so grateful I lost my job! When you say, ‘This is what I wanted. This was the only answer,’ all the energy goes to ‘this.’ When you say, ‘This didn’t work out, but there’s more out there,’ the energy shifts to a future full of possibility.”
Our Role vs. The Savior’s Role

“It’s the Savior’s work to bring our loved ones back. It’s His work and His timing. It is our work to provide the hope and a heart they can come home to…

“Love is the thing that changes hearts. It is the purest motive of all, and others can feel it… Surely, those who love the most and the longest win!

“In earthly families, we’re simply doing what God has done with us—pointing the way and hoping our loved ones will go in that direction, knowing the path they travel is theirs to choose.

“And when they pass to the other side of the veil and draw close to that loving ‘gravitational pull’ of their heavenly home, I believe it will feel familiar because of how they were loved here.”

  • Follow Him: A Come, Follow Me Podcast, S4 E4: Hank Smith stated:
    • “I was talking to a friend once and she said, ‘How do I get my children to return to the path?’ And I said, ‘Well, first you are not going to get your children to return to the path, He is going to get His children to return to the path.’ I said, ‘Remember, this is like a surgery and the Lord is the surgeon and you’re the assistant. Do what He asks you to do and let Him do His work, but don’t jump in and say, ‘Let’s switch places. I’ll be the surgeon. You be the assistant.’ That surgery is not going to go well. Instead of saying, ‘Hey, Lord, can you assist me in saving these souls?’, assist Him in saving souls. Take that assistant role.”

Connection

Sister Runia’s tagline on her Instagram account shares the following quote from G. Eliot: “What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” And then she also shares: Everybody needs a cheerleader.

How might I consider taking action?

Invitations

1: “Sometimes all we can see is that up-close, magnified view of those we love. Tonight, I invite you to zoom out and look through a different lens—an eternal lens that focuses on the big picture, your bigger story.”

  • What This Means (in 6 words or less): Take the long view in relationships.
  • Journal Prompt: ‘How can I take the long view in each of the meaningful relationships (spouse, children, extended family, close friends) in my life?’
Directives (“an official or authoritative instruction”)
  1. “Before we interact with a loved one, can we ask ourselves the question ‘Is what I’m about to do or say helpful or hurtful?’ …

    “Our job is not to teach someone who’s going through a rough patch that they are bad or disappointing. On rare occasions we may feel prompted to correct, but most often let’s tell our loved ones in spoken and unspoken ways the messages they long to hear: ‘Our family feels whole and complete because you are in it.’ ‘You will be loved for the rest of your life—no matter what.’

    “Sometimes what we need is empathy more than advice; listening more than a lecture; someone who hears and wonders, ‘How would I have to feel to say what they just said?’”
    • Commit to asking yourself that question – ‘How would I have to feel to say what they just said?’ – the next time someone says something with which you don’t agree.
    • “The Plateau Effect: Getting from Stuck to Success” by Bob Sullivan and Hugh Thompson:
      • “We’d like you to try something very different: listening with intent to agree. That’s right: Before you offer an explanation or defense, just imagine that whatever the other person is saying must be true. That’s radical. But it sure is the fastest way to get new ideas into your brain. That’s peak listening. For the purposes of this discussion, we’re going to divide the world into two categories: sociopaths, who lie without guilt and who really have nothing but their own selfish gains in mind, and everyone else. If you are in the presence of a true sociopath, then all bets are off. The advice we give here is useless. But after you’ve determined that your spouse, friend, coworker, or customer isn’t a sociopathic liar, here’s a thought that will short-circuit almost every fight you ever have.

        “The person you are listening to is right. Always. Your wife, your husband, your employee, your customers. They’re right.

        “They may not be 100 percent right. But even if a person is hysterical and speaking in terribly ineffective language, perhaps even accusing you of things that on the surface are demonstrably false, there is truth in what he or she is saying. And rather than defend yourself by finding error in some details, challenge yourself to find the deeper truth of what’s being said. Often, that will require you to dig deep into that 93 percent of nonverbal communication. It definitely will require you to drop all your defenses, and in some cases, it will feel like you are being forced to believe that black is white and the sky is orange…

        “We’ve spent twenty years each talking to people for a living, people from all walks of life, and without hesitation we can say this – most people are lonely, and then desperately happy when someone asks them a question and truly listens for the answer.”
  2. “Let’s zoom out to view family relationships as a powerful vehicle to teach us the lessons we came here to learn as we turn to the Savior.”
    • Journal prompt: How are my family relationships teaching me the lessons I came to earth to learn? What am I doing to make sure I not only learn from these lessons but actually improve because of them?
  3. “Let’s stay at the tree, partake of the love of God, and share it.”
  4. “With an eye of faith on Jesus Christ, may we see that everything will be all right in the end and feel that it will be all right now.”
    • Study the verses I shared earlier (and which I will share again now) and determine what needs to happen with your faith to know that the Lord’s promises have already been fulfilled in your life.
      • Moses 7:44-47, John 16:33, John 17:4, Revelation 12:11, 1 Nephi 2:20, 1 Nephi 5:4-6, Jarom 1:11, Mosiah 3:13, Mosiah 8:15-18, Mosiah 16:6-7, and Alma 5:15.

Report on Prior Week’s Action Item

Last week I committed to journaling for 10 minutes on this topic:

  • “What actions do I need to take to become more prepared in my life? Of these actions, which is the most pressing, and how will I take action this week?”

After completing this exercise, I felt that the most pressing preparation in my life is to better ponder The Book of Mormon. I typically do a great job of reading The Book of Mormon each day, but in the past I have struggled to ponder what I am reading in The Book of Mormon each day. That’s going to change during 2024.

This Week’s Action Item

“That which is measured improves. That which is measured and reported improves exponentially.”

Karl Pearson, an early 20th-century British mathematician

“Those who measure their progress improve. Those who measure and report their progress improve exponentially.”

Dan Sullivan, founder and president of The Strategic Coach Inc.

“Do something, do anything! But to start, just do ONE thing.”

Mitch Peterson

I will journal for 20 minutes on the following journal prompt:

  • ‘How can I take the long view in each of the meaningful relationships (i.e., spouse, children, extended family, close friends) in my life?’

Let Me Know

How will you take action on this General Conference address? Let me know on social media or email me.

REMEMBER THIS

If you remember nothing else from this podcast episode, remember this:

  • Sister Runia is inviting us to take the long view in relationships.

Tags

Faith | Family | Hope | Love | Perspective

Additional Content

Previous Podcast Episode (“Abide the Day in Christ” by Sister Amy A. Wright)

Next Podcast Episode (“For the Sake of Your Posterity” by Elder Carlos A. Godoy)

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