And how can it help me become a better parent?
“An entrepreneur is anyone who departs from the conventional formula, path, and rules for being successful. They are individuals who have the self-generated commitment, courage, capability, and confidence to make it on their own.”
-Dan Sullivan
The quote above is entrepreneur coach Dan Sullivan’s definition of what he calls “entrepreneurial ambition.”
Google defines ‘ambition’ as: “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.”
Typically we might think of ‘ambition’ in the context of a career (i.e., “his ambition was to become CEO” or “her ambition was to become President of the United States”) or some other passion (i.e., “his ambition is to win the NBA championship” or “her ambition is to win an Olympic gold medal”).
However, my focus on entrepreneurship is from the angle of parenting, because parents are entrepreneurs, and families are their business.
Hence, when I study Dan Sullivan’s writings on entrepreneurship, I substitute the word “parent” anywhere I see the word “entrepreneur”.
Thus, in this article, I will discuss what “parental ambition” means to me, and how it is benefiting my life (and how it can do the same for you).
Career vs. Family
“Rule: It is the quality of time at work that counts and the quantity of time at home that matters.”
-Brian Tracy
My career is important, and so is my family. But if I had to choose between the two, I would always say that my family is more important.
Since my family is so important, it makes sense that I would dedicate a lot of time and effort to becoming a better husband and father.
However, as discussed previously, when we speak about “ambition,” I don’t think we associate it with our most important roles. Or if we do (i.e., “my ambition is to be an excellent father”), it’s not always as readily apparent what that actually looks like.
In careers, we know when someone becomes CEO or President. Or in sports, we know when someone wins the championship or an Olympic medal.
In parenting, this is not so straightforward… That is, unless we know how to measure, and choose to do it.
Five Foundational Values
“Every home must be built on a sturdy foundation. You can own a beautiful house, but it will sink into the ground if its foundation isn’t solid. The same is true with your values. While most people have different values overall, we tend to share similar Foundational Values.”
-Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus
Authors Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus have shared what they believe to be the five “nearly universal” foundational values:
- Health
- Relationships
- Creativity
- Growth
- Contribution
Millburn and Nicodemus discuss these values in depth in their new book “Love People, Use Things: Because the Opposite Never Works.”
These five values are essential and are at the root of the joy we experience in life. When we learn to measure our parenting experience, not only will we experience joy in the context of our careers, but in the context of our relationships.
In my job, it is essential for me to create, grow, and contribute to the success of the business, and structures are in place to help me accomplish this.
In parenting, it is also essential for me to create, grow, and contribute to the success of the family… but those same structures aren’t necessarily in place.
Sure, we can read any number of parenting books and expose ourselves to some really great ideas. But without some sort of framework in place, how likely is it that we will follow through with any of those great ideas?
That is the power in what I am doing.
Since parents are entrepreneurs and families are their business, I can utilize the vast array of free resources that entrepreneur coach Dan Sullivan has provided to “transform” Dan’s entrepreneurial approach into my parenting approach.
Parental Ambition
“There are growing examples over the last quarter-century of individuals with self-generated ambition who have bypassed the conventional career path and become billionaires — by being extraordinary 21st-century game changers. And this has been viewed in a negative way by those whose sense of self and personal value have come entirely from their successes in following the path laid out for them by society. The successes of those who have made their way in the world outside of or despite these systems belie the claims about the importance of following the rules.”
-Dan Sullivan
The first definition listed for the word “rule” on Google reads: “one of a set of explicit or understood regulations or principles governing conduct within a particular activity or sphere.”
In the quote above, Dan Sullivan is comparing and contrasting “conventional ambition” with “self-generated ambition.”
As I see it, an important difference is control. Those individuals with conventional ambition stick to a path prescribed by their parents, the education system, their peers, or the media. Conversely, individuals with self-generated ambition choose their own path.
Some rules are universal… Regardless if you have conventional or self-generated ambition, when you jump off a cliff you will fall. Gravity isn’t one of those rules you can circumnavigate.
But as parents, there are rules that don’t need to be followed.
For example, consider traditional education… Hungarian chess teacher and educational psychologist Laszlo Polgar raised his three daughters to be chess prodigies. I don’t personally know anyone who has done something like that. The result? Three incredibly talented women — not only in chess, but in knowledge (one of the daughters learned eight languages) and contribution to society.
As parents, we don’t have to follow the conventional path. We can exercise self-generated ambition in our parenting efforts.
Conclusion
“This concept that anybody, regardless of their circumstances, can jump out of the conditions they are born in is very troublesome to people who have spent their entire lives playing by the rules. It’s frustrating to them when somebody with a different kind of ambition either breaks the rules or ignores the rules and gets to the top anyway.”
-Dan Sullivan
In his book “Word-of-Mouth Marketing,” author Jerry Wilson shares that the average customer will tell three people about a positive experience with a business or product, but will talk about a negative experience to thirty-three people.
Our natural tendency is to push back against anyone and anything that is doing things differently.
My self-generated ambition is to be the very best husband and father that I can be.
To do this, I have decided to associate my role as a father as that of the “entrepreneur” of my “business” (family).
Dan Sullivan teaches his entrepreneurial clients to utilize a tool called the “Ambition Scorecard.” This tool takes qualitative data and quantifies it. The purpose of the Scorecard is, in Dan’s words, to “make your future increasingly bigger than your past.”
That sums up what I want as a husband and father — a “future increasingly bigger than [my] past.”
The “Ambition Scorecard” is a means for me to quantify my parental ambition. It is an excellent place to start when striving to build a framework around exciting, yet abstract, statements such as “to become the very best husband and father that I can be.”
Utilizing Dan Sullivan’s entrepreneurial tools, I finally feel like I have found a way to measure my progress as a father. And, as early 20th-century British mathematician Karl Pearson has said: “That which is measured improves. That which is measured and reported improves exponentially.”
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